You respect others and desire to build trust and meaningful relationships. As a leader, you want to gather stories without being extractive, empowering your team to avoid harmful practices and build a culture of ethical storytelling. This article simplifies the approach to ethical storytelling, helping you create narratives that center on dignity, respect, and mutual benefit.

I'm eager to share what I've learned from my ever-growing experience of telling other people's stories and after reading over 15 articles on this topic. In my research…

I noticed various groups discussing the issues of being extractive.

1. Environmentalists advocating for a post-extractive mindset.
2. Individuals who want to redefine extractivism.
3. Journalists are torn between journalistic codes and compassion.
4. Nonprofits who work with people in vulnerable circumstances.
5. Nonprofits that conduct B2B marketing but yet still collect stories.

The core of ethical storytelling is doing right by others. Ethical storytelling's simple and fundamental principle is to Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-40).

It’s hard to be extractive when loving that person or community. Sure, we have blind spots that cause unintentional harm. But if our heart posture is willingly bent toward self-sacrificial love, how can we not, in humility, admit our wrongs and do our part to heal the relationship?

Loving others as ourselves is the lens through which I work and steadily grow personally and professionally as a disciple of Jesus Christ. Throughout the rest of this article, I will use this lens to focus my perspective on ethical storytelling.

What is Extractive Storytelling & What Are Its Negative Impacts?

Your organizations must redefine their approach to gathering stories to avoid extractive storytelling and ensure respect and reciprocity at every stage.

Extractive storytelling is the practice of gathering and using people’s stories without centering their dignity, agency, or benefit. It's like taking a story from someone without considering their feelings or how it might affect them.

This practice contrasts sharply with the principles of ethical storytelling, which emphasize respect and reciprocity. Instead, these stories serve the organization’s agenda, such as fundraising or marketing.

Some Negative Impacts

1. Erodes Trust: Communities may feel exploited rather than valued. Nonprofit Pro
2. Reinforces Inequity: Perpetuates systems of harm that nonprofits aim to dismantle. Dignified Storytelling
3. Undermines Authenticity: Audiences are increasingly aware of storytelling that feels exploitative or performative.
4. Perpetuate stereotypes promoting inaccurate narratives.

When you or I don’t center the story-sharers, individuals who share their stories with us, we engage in a one-sided transaction similar to the Detroit tree-planting initiative.

One Sidedness Is the Root of Extractive Storytelling

In 2014, Detroit launched a tree-planting initiative to reforest its streets. However, many Detroit residents pushed back. Research revealed the root cause was how the tree-planters did things.

Residents didn’t feel included in the decision-making process, and historical injustices were overlooked. Similarly, extractive storytelling often fails because it dismisses the story-sharer’s agency.

When we focus on people's human experiences, not just what they can give us, we’re focusing on their God-given worthiness of honor and respect. Let’s explore how to apply this principle at each stage of storytelling.

3 Steps to Gather Stories Without Being Extractive

Before breaking a list of principles, we must assign dignity at each storytelling stage to ensure we gather stories without being extractive.

It matters to be ethical not only on the day of collecting stories but also before and after. Remember, it’s about relationships and love for the other person.

• Step 1: Before gathering stories, set your foundation
• Step 2: During the gathering of stories, capture with care
• Step 3: Afterward, honoring and sharing the stories

Step 1: Setting the Foundation for Non-Extractive Storytelling

If you’re reading this article, it's clear that you're committed to ethical storytelling and eager to gather stories without being extractive. Good job!

Here are some additional things to consider at this stage.

1. Define where and how the story will be used.
2. Use a straightforward short-release form that explains all uses and honors rights.
3. Plan a gesture of gratitude or reciprocity (e.g., honorarium, gift).

Distribution of Stories

Let’s pretend for the remainder of this article, you’re considering sharing video stories of your program at your upcoming annual fundraising event. You’ve found the right person on camera to share their story.

Your use of the story is the event. What about the people who didn’t attend the event? The story can inspire them. So you’re thinking of sending the story to your newsletters. While we’re at let’s throw on the program’s webpage and share on Instagram and Facebook

So far, we have five places this story will be shared:

1. In-Person Event
2. Email Newsletter
3. Website (program webpage)
4. Instagram
5. Facebook

Considering where you will use the video story will help with the specificity of your release form. Speaking of release forms, what should be included in one?

Release Forms

In the video above, nonprofit Lawyer Allie Levene said, “The number one thing is the actual consent language. You need to [identify] what is being shared and how it is being shared.”

You want the informed consent language on your release form to be short and readable. Will people understand and appreciate what they’re signing?

Here’s a layout of helpful information that should be on your form.

• What is being shared (e.g., video, photo, audio)?
• Specific uses of the story.
• Duration of use.
• Payment (honorarium or other gestures of gratitude).
• Intellectual property ownership.
• Story-sharer’s right to review.
• Contact information for follow-up.

Download Media Release Templates

It’s recommended that your legal team or attorney review it to ensure it meets your specific needs.

• Ethical Storytelling Media Release
• Google template with opt-in use options.

Reciprocity

It's taboo to offer payment to your story-sharer. It's believed that doing so will compromise the story's integrity. In journalism, it’s considered unethical for journalists to pay sources.

I disagree with this belief because there’s something more important at play: the reciprocity between humans. Extractive storytelling is not reciprocal. It does not love its neighbor. Extractive storytelling takes a story and builds its platform without any meaningful return to the story-sharer.

Ethical storytelling practices involve offering a gesture of gratitude to the story-sharer. This practice is a small but impactful way to ensure you gather stories without being extractive.

Example of Reciprocity

During the 2024 Environmental Initiative awards, a recipient expressed concern about unpaid time and travel for filming. Recognizing the oversight, I offered to cover their expenses.

This experience emphasized the value of proactive honorariums. Nowadays, at BairStories, we offer a $50 honorarium or other material offerings. This small act of reciprocity can be crucial, similar to offering tobacco in Native communities or incense to iyawó's in Cuba.

Step 2: Capturing with Care

Now, let’s explore how to gather stories without being extractive by assigning dignity during the entire storytelling process. In my 35,000+ hours crafting stories, I’ve continually built trust with story-sharers in these ways.

• Take time to connect—avoid drive-by storytelling.
• Communicate your goals transparently.
• Listen deeply to understand and let the storyteller lead the conversation.

Build Trust Through Meaningful Connection

Have you shared more about yourself after spending more with someone? If so, you’ve probably experienced revealing more of yourself.

Relationships develop through self-disclosure when people reveal private or secret information to others. Altman and Taylor (1973) arranged this observation into a theory called Social Penetration Theory.

The theory suggests that as people spend more time together, they gradually share more personal information, moving from superficial topics to deeper, more intimate details.

I’ve seen this firsthand, so I try to have multiple touchpoints with the story-sharer before an interview. For our client’s program mini-doc, Ripple of Cars, we have 4 to 5 touchpoints(initial pre-interview, lunch, quick-phone call check-in before filming, and 2-filmings days) with our main story-sharer, Joe, to build rapport and trust.

Avoid Drive By Storytelling

You might not have that much time or already know the storyteller. Either way, you still want to avoid drive-by storytelling, which is extractive storytelling.

As Lauren Wiston, journalist, filmmaker, and a contributing editor at both Filmmaker magazine and Documentary magazine, said, drive-by-docu-making involves

• a white journalist/filmmaker swooping down on a community of color,
• nabbing some sensationalistic footage over a few days,
• then quickly returning to an editing home base far, far away

These characteristics are no different from swooping in to capture a story from your story-sharer and ghosting. Again, this is a one-sided, unloving transaction.

Inquire About How Your Video Team Will Build Trust

If you’re hiring a video marketing and production team to capture the video story for your event, ask them how they will build trust with your story-sharer.

That production company is an outsider, a stranger to your story-sharer.

How do you expect to get a deeply resonating story when outside has two touchpoints: the initial call and the day of filming?

If I were the story-sharer, I would still be weary of these strangers.
People reveal more of themselves to folks they know and trust.
Don’t you do the same?

Listen As Surrender & Therapeutics

One of the best gifts you can give someone is being heard. But that gift will cost you to listen intently. It means being quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19)

In my experience, many people listen to respond, but few listen to understand. Love and Belonging are fostered through friendships, intimacy, and connection. Feeling connected to someone who doesn’t listen to you is difficult.

Listening is a loving experience, aka a giving experience.

When you are story-listening, it can be therapeutic for your story-sharer. Here is what Ranell Navarre said to Journalist and Writer Natalie Yahr:

“[Therapy] was mostly pills that were put in your hand. I wish I coulda got some therapy like what we’re sittin’ here doin’ now, sittin’ here talkin’ it over, you know, and lettin’ me explain myself to you instead of you tellin’ me what it was about and givin’ me a pill.”

Like Natalie, I have experienced people express this therapeutic experience.
This is why I see story-listener as a gift that I have the privilege to give.

Before chatting with your story-sharer, let them know your intent for the conversation. Truly make it a conversation, not a performative interview where the story-sharer is self-conscious about their answers.

Step 3: Editing, Honoring, and Sharing Stories

Lastly, ensure you honor your story-sharer and maintain ethical storytelling principles after gathering their story. Let’s continue assigning dignity by doing the following:

• Seek feedback during the editing process:
• Follow up after publication to ensure confidence and address concerns.
• Stay in touch to nurture the relationship for future permissions or collaboration.

Seek their feedback during the story edit.

Please don’t wait until you have a final version to get their feedback. You risk having to do a lot of heaving revisions. I’ve suffered this fate far too many times. I recommend involving the story-sharer when you have a solid draft to watch.

Email your story-sharer to get feedback on their edited story. Some things you want to know from there are:

1. How does this story edit make you feel?
2. Does anything seem unclear?
3. Does this story edit represent you? If not, what needs refining?
4. Are there any concerns you have?

Suppose you’re working with a video team. In that case, they should be able to provide a video link in which comments can be left directly on the video instead of an email where things get lost.

Follow up once the story is live.

It's showtime once you have handled all your revisions and polished the video story. Proceed with your event as usual, premiering the video story. Invite your story-sharers to the event. After all is said and done, check in with your story-sharer about their feelings now that it has been made public.

Are they still feeling good and confident? Or are there some new concerns that need addressing?

This is the time to ensure the confidence of your story-sharer and offer your gratitude.

Stay in touch.

Will you “continue to help them and be in a relationship with them, or will you leave as soon as we get what we need?” Deborah Swerdlow's question is valid. If you love your story-sharer, staying connected seems applicable.

Ultimately, you get to decide what that looks like.

Some follow-up moments could be when you need to renew the story's license or permission to use the story through a new distribution channel, e.g., Film Festivals.

Examples: Ethical Storytelling Centering Story-sharers

Instead of finding ethical videos online, I will only show stories we've told at BairStories. Why? I know fully at each stage whether ethical or extractive storytelling was practiced.

While not all our past stories followed these practices (as a growing video marketing company, we're constantly learning), we began offering honorariums in 2024. Despite ongoing progress, I'll share examples demonstrating ethical storytelling practices we have implemented.

Ripple of Cars (Program Mini Doc)

Here, the following practices are implemented to create this video story.

1. Take time to connect—avoid drive-by storytelling.
2. Communicate your goals transparently.
3. Listen deeply to understand and let the storyteller lead the conversation.
4. Seek feedback during the editing process:
5. Follow up after publication to ensure confidence and address concerns.
6. Stay in touch to nurture the relationship for future permissions or collaboration.

Where Paths Meet Documentary

Here, the following practices are implemented to create this video story.

1. Used a media release but with generic language instead of specific
2. Plan a gesture of gratitude or reciprocity (e.g., honorarium, gift).
3. Take time to connect—avoid drive-by storytelling.
4. Communicate your goals transparently.
5. Listen deeply to understand and let the storyteller lead the conversation.

TruArtSpeaks Explores Hip Hop and The Black Diaspora in Cuba with Maia Maiden Productions

This project is a unique case: in Cuba, with different laws, our written release (though available in Spanish) felt inappropriate. While I know verbal consent isn't legally sufficient, it guided our exchange of Hip-Hop history between Cuban and U.S. artists for professional development and research.

Here, the following practices are implemented to create this video story.

1. Verbal consent
2. Protecting the people by not showing anything that would cause harm
3. Take time to connect—avoid drive-by storytelling.
4. Listen deeply to understand and let the storyteller lead the conversation.

Love Your Neighbor, Tell Their Story Well

Ethical storytelling is more than a method—it’s an act of love. When you gather stories without being extractive, you build a foundation of trust and authenticity that resonates with your story-sharers. Ethical storytelling will flow through every story you share when you treat it as an act of love, trust, dignity, and collaboration.

Takeaways to Share with Your Team:

1. Plan with transparency: Define where and how stories will be shared.
2. Honor contributors: Offer feedback opportunities and meaningful gestures of gratitude.
3. Stay connected: Build lasting relationships beyond the story’s publication.

Share this article's steps with your team at your next meeting. Start a conversation about integrating these practices into your organization’s storytelling process.

Related Articles

• Ethical Storytelling: Practical Tips To Avoid Donor Manipulation
• When Facts Fail, It’s a Chance to Embrace Acceptance
• How to Build Powerful Relationships Through Content Marketing
• How to Create Engaging Video Stories That Resonate
• Audience Engagement: How to Get People to Take Action

References & Attribution

OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Grammarly were used for revisions and feedback.

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